My synopsis of War and Peace:
It is 1812, and Russia is overrun by evil women who like to dance, daydream, and sleep around. Russian men are completely unmanned. To stop this, Napoleon invades Russia. Instantly, Russian men get back their manliness and kick Napoleon out. They also kill some uppity women* and impregnate others, who instantly become docile and bovine.** The end.
*Okay, technically, it's Tolstoy who kills these women—he has them overdose on abortion medication.
**Probably because they saw what happened to the other women.
So, yeah, I hated the book.